Britain is at Covid tipping point, says the Health Secretary. Covid scepticism behind high infection rate, says MP. Tories plot rebellion and schools bid to kill off GCSEs. Boris Johnson is constantly surprised when his government fails.
Tech: Woman falls out of car window while filming Snapchat video on M25
Who can be in my bubble? What are the rules on socialising? What are the rules for meeting my friends?
Sport: Pitch-invading alpaca disrupts football match
So much for the Rule of Six! Revellers in Leeds hit town to make the most of final weekend of freedom; hospitality chiefs warn that second national lockdown would put a million jobs at risk.
Politics: Keir Starmer admits he still pines for bacon sandwiches and chicken curry
Will coronavirus spell the end of casual sex at university? Do I need to get the flu jab this year? PPE pollution: can we stop the mounting plastic pandemic?
Environment: Stop taking selfies with seals, Yorkshire charity warns
‘No evidence’ of 2nd wave, warns professor, as London’s anti-mask protest leader revealed as suspended nurse who compared lockdown to Holocaust. Hancock calls on ‘snitches’ to land neighbours a £10k fine.
Real Life: Mum-of-22 Sue Radford takes Britain’s biggest family on day trip to the beach
Police condemn anti-vax clashes before week of protests and shop staff attacked for pointing out Covid safety rules. But (at least): pickpocketing rate half what it was before lockdown.
By Lauryn Anderson. Prose poem made up entirely of newspaper headlines.
Sources (in order of appearance): Guardian / BBC / Daily Mail / The Independent / The Sun / The Times. All headlines appeared on 20/09/2019.